By the end of tomorrow I will have conducted two
funerals this week for ladies who lived to a great age and who spent their final years with
dementia.
By one of those coincidences which no longer seems odd the Ministers’ Reading Group I belong to is currently working through Malcolm Goldsmith’s fine book entitled: In a Strange Land...People with Dementia and the Local Church.
Perhaps we are just more aware these days, but it seems as if greater numbers of us are living with this ‘falling mist’ – and it begs questions such as: How do we pastorally support carers and how much of our faith are we aware of as we journey into such a ‘Strange Land’?
In setting the scene Malcolm Goldsmith opens his book by quoting a beautiful prayer from the Church of England – it’s a prayer, I think, which offers hope to all who are living with, or alongside, dementia and goes like this:
Lord,
In weakness or in strength
we bear your image.
We pray for those we love
who now live in a land of shadows,
where the light of memory is dimmed,
where the familiar lies unknown,
where the beloved become as strangers.
Hold them in your everlasting arms,
and grant to those who care
a strength to serve
a patience to persevere,
a love to last,
and a peace that passes human understanding.
Hold us in your everlasting arms,
today and for all eternity;
Through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Sometimes – in fact quite often – relatives have the heart ache of letting their loved ones be looked after in a residential home. Inevitably these homes become places of great security and support but initially it must be one of the hardest moments of life to carry through such a decision. Yet, just like the Good Samaritan in the bible story who paid the Innkeeper to tend the injured Jew, we know that the very best we can offer the person we love is to let them receive professional care.
However, the term ‘dementia’ covers a variety of conditions each with varying symptoms – which means some people will stay at home for much longer. Organisations like The Sycamore Club at Amersham Free Church provide day care which enables ‘carers’ to have a morning or afternoon free of responsibilities.
We can all feel so helpless in the face of dementia – is there a Christian response? Probably not – apart from supporting that fundamental notion – one would like to think of it as a universal truth – that every human life is precious and worthy of respect.
When Jesus spent the night on the Mount of Olives he asked his disciples to ‘watch and pray’ – doesn’t sound much does it? And they fell asleep on the job. Our pastoral care in churches is often ‘just’ watching and praying – standing alongside friends with dementia and their families – praying for them and never forgetting that they are a ‘child of God’. And maybe St Paul’s words encourage all of us when he says: ‘For I am persuaded that neither height nor depth – nor anything else in the whole of creation, is able to separate us from the love of God’.
May God bless you and yours,
Ian
By one of those coincidences which no longer seems odd the Ministers’ Reading Group I belong to is currently working through Malcolm Goldsmith’s fine book entitled: In a Strange Land...People with Dementia and the Local Church.
Perhaps we are just more aware these days, but it seems as if greater numbers of us are living with this ‘falling mist’ – and it begs questions such as: How do we pastorally support carers and how much of our faith are we aware of as we journey into such a ‘Strange Land’?
In setting the scene Malcolm Goldsmith opens his book by quoting a beautiful prayer from the Church of England – it’s a prayer, I think, which offers hope to all who are living with, or alongside, dementia and goes like this:
Lord,
In weakness or in strength
we bear your image.
We pray for those we love
who now live in a land of shadows,
where the light of memory is dimmed,
where the familiar lies unknown,
where the beloved become as strangers.
Hold them in your everlasting arms,
and grant to those who care
a strength to serve
a patience to persevere,
a love to last,
and a peace that passes human understanding.
Hold us in your everlasting arms,
today and for all eternity;
Through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Sometimes – in fact quite often – relatives have the heart ache of letting their loved ones be looked after in a residential home. Inevitably these homes become places of great security and support but initially it must be one of the hardest moments of life to carry through such a decision. Yet, just like the Good Samaritan in the bible story who paid the Innkeeper to tend the injured Jew, we know that the very best we can offer the person we love is to let them receive professional care.
However, the term ‘dementia’ covers a variety of conditions each with varying symptoms – which means some people will stay at home for much longer. Organisations like The Sycamore Club at Amersham Free Church provide day care which enables ‘carers’ to have a morning or afternoon free of responsibilities.
We can all feel so helpless in the face of dementia – is there a Christian response? Probably not – apart from supporting that fundamental notion – one would like to think of it as a universal truth – that every human life is precious and worthy of respect.
When Jesus spent the night on the Mount of Olives he asked his disciples to ‘watch and pray’ – doesn’t sound much does it? And they fell asleep on the job. Our pastoral care in churches is often ‘just’ watching and praying – standing alongside friends with dementia and their families – praying for them and never forgetting that they are a ‘child of God’. And maybe St Paul’s words encourage all of us when he says: ‘For I am persuaded that neither height nor depth – nor anything else in the whole of creation, is able to separate us from the love of God’.
May God bless you and yours,
Ian
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